Why Creatives Can’t Simply “Not Take Ideas Personally”

It’s finally time to present that fantastic creative idea you’ve been cooking up. You’ve put your heart and soul into this idea, which you’re confident will show your audience a better, smarter way to solve a problem.

But then you present, and you don’t get the reaction you want. Perhaps you met some resistance, or a lot. Maybe you didn’t get any reaction at all. Or it’s possible you made headway, but not in the ways you expected, or as much as you hoped for.

Many of my creative PR, marketing and advertising colleagues have been in this position before, and many have familiar feelings in response: defeat, humiliation, embarrassment, anger, and hopelessness. “Why even bother creating new ideas in this environment?,” I’ve heard in similar situations.

Such reactions underscore common challenges in the creative process that have little to do with the quality of the creative, and everything to do with emotions and interpersonal relationships. 

Everyone has emotional relationships with ideas, their outputs, and the cultural structures that surround them. While the depth and vibrance of these relationships vary from person to person, I believe everyone has emotional ties to the work to some degree – be it the work, the creativity, their processes, their decision-making power – down to details like logos, fonts, colors, company chat app choices, even slide background colors and website design.

For reasons I’ll explain, I resist advice that suggests people should not take creative ideas personally. For many people who produce ideas, this is impossible. Such a disconnection between emotions and outputs would cut them from some of their most creative forces. But there are tools creatives and executives can learn to manage ideation and presentation of creative.

The creative process is, at its core, an exercise in vulnerability. In putting a creative idea forward, a creative likely exposes to others that they disagree with the status quo. By exploring how they’d do it differently, one must examine their frustrations, disagreements, and even anger at whatever outcome they seek to change. The feelings could relate to a person, co-worker, executive, or decision with whom the creative person disagrees.

Even absent this exploration, many creatives call upon a deep well of skepticism, cynicism, and distrust to maintain the perspective necessary to see problems from angles that others cannot. While often considered signs of intellect, these values have roots in emotions like fear, anger, guilt, shame, paranoia, joy, surprise, wonder, and others.

The root of the emotion may not be visible to the creative at the time. Regardless, the idea that creative people express emotions through ideas and outputs is well-worn in popular culture. While your dope design may not be a Degas, the concept is no different in a marketing setting.

Going deeper, since the outputs of these ideas have roots in potentially vulnerable emotions, their approval may become unconsciously tied to “curing” the root emotion. That’s why the relationship between these emotions and creative outputs can lead to “all or nothing” feelings from the creative. The brain tells the creative, “unless the ideas are taken wholesale and implemented immediately, without compromise or tweaks, the root of the emotion will persist.”

(This says nothing of the time investment creative people require to develop their outcomes, btw.)

On the flip side, the people viewing the creative – some of whom may be impacted by the change suggested – also have emotional ties to the project, product, or to the part of the culture/structure that would be affected by the idea.

Imagine a design or product you’ve invested weeks, months, or even years, perhaps a presentation design used by the whole company or the flow of a crucial part of an app or website. It’s as close to your possession as a work project could be.

You may experience an emotional tie to this project, which may be hidden from you in your day-to-day work. Perhaps you’re proud; you may be frustrated; or fearful or anxious about change or interference. Maybe you’re guilty that you’ve been busy and haven’t had the time you’d like to work on it further.

Imagine, then, someone else coming in and suggesting changes. This person likely spends less time on this project than you. Who is this interloper encroaching on my turf, you might say? Who do they think they are, suggesting change about something they know less about?

I’ve been in this position, and I can’t say my reaction has always been graceful, understanding, and open. I’ve been resistant, obstructionist, aggressive, closed-hearted, antagonistic, and more. Just like the creative presenting the ideas, the reactions from the executive have emotional roots – fear, anger, guilt, surprise, panic, and more.

It’s common for people feeling these emotions to regard the creative’s ideas as a threat. Accepting them in any way, shape or form furthers the threat. Starting to see a source for conflict?

The neuroscience corroborates that pushing through creative ideas is a complicated endeavor. The intellectual assessment of ideas and the emotional response to ideas happen in different parts of the brain. While grading the quality of creative intellectually happens primarily in the frontal lobe, the emotions originate mainly from one of the areas of the brain that make up the limbic system. (for example, fear likely originates from the amygdala, the part of your brain that helps take in and respond to emotions.)

There’s a reason that the emotional responses wash over even the sharpest minds: the limbic system is also the origin of your body’s fight-or-flight response. This survival mechanism allows your limbic system to press the “panic button” in the face of danger or threats.

What happens when your limbic system activates its fight-or-flight response? I’ll spare you the neuroscience lesson, but here’s a summary: glands like the hypothalamus flood your bloodstream with adrenaline. Your heart beats faster and you breathe more rapidly. You become more alert to respond to perceived threats. And your body slowly floods with cortisol – the chemical that causes people to feel stress – further activating your threat monitoring. These changes happen so quickly that most people aren't aware it’s happening until long after it’s over.

I’m not a neuroscientist…though I am a marketing person, and I can tell you that a colleague experiencing this kind of response is not in the best state to discuss your creative ideas.

Pushing through creative thinking is not primarily an intellectual exercise. It’s an emotional one. Pushing through creative ideas is a conversation, collaboration, and compromise between emotional ties.

So, what do we do?

For starters, all parties should learn in-the-moment tools to manage stress activation. Many such tools exist, and many of them are good. Learning and practicing these tools has benefits well beyond presenting and judging creative. (we could spend another thousand-plus words discussing tools in this area!)

For creatives, the solution is not to ignore emotional ties by “not taking ideas personally.” It’s to learn tools to explore the root emotions of your creativity, to sit with and listen to these emotions, and to practice ways to take in the inevitable opposing responses and to remain resilient. Practice developing an “inner ear” to listen to the emotions that form the root of your creativity.

Creatives should also learn to navigate the interpersonal element of pushing through ideas. Consider ways to demonstrate empathy for the people or structures impacted by the creative. Practice delivering ideas in an open-hearted way that considers your audience's feelings. And as you imagine a scenario where your audience could bring uncompromising emotional resistance, identify where you could compromise to thaw the connection.

Disclaimer this does not mean great creatives must also be extroverts who excel at conversation. Nor does it mean that creatives must live with groupthink or constant compromise. But the tools to cope with intellectual and emotional resistance vary greatly. Unfortunately, the latter are rarely taught by arts programs, college PR and marketing academies, or company onboarding.

For colleagues and executives judging creative, learn to consider the journey of vulnerability undertaken by your creative on their path to their output.

Consider tools like language choices and empathy to depressurize and discharge creative presentations. Practice the ideals of compassionate skepticism to deliver clear feedback in ways that foster creativity and camaraderie, and build more substantial outcomes.

Most importantly, don’t try to learn these tools alone! While many people can, the power of community and support only serves to amplify your learning and progress. Work with colleagues, mentors, your community, or a professional to learn more.